All critics can duck sick

So when it turns midnight tonight I'll probably be asleep in my cozy bed. Hope you had a great one!

Went to a wedding in southeast missouri earlier today. Had a great time. Just worn out from the driving I guess. Thought I might be in St. Louis tonight for New Years but didn't...come to find out a roommate is in St. Louis with some friends now wondering why I'm not.

Much love...I'm out

Finally!

got my cycling clothes! Sometime I'll take a picture of them and throw it up here...then you can see all the glory that is the MU cycling uniform

Went for a 30 mile ride yesterday with Andy and Aaron. They kicked my ass on single speed bikes which was expected considering how much faster they are than I. Felt great to ride again...its been a while.

My room is an extra complete mess right now. Got one computer finished and working on another. Only I've got problems with the 2nd one so its just sitting on my floor taking up space now. And all the other stuff that I was going to put in it and so on is taking up more space on the floor...so the path to the door and bathroom is a tiny one.

Time for breakfast and then a bike ride while jamming to my ipod

oh yeah..got some new (well mostly old) pictures up on my webpage...check them out at http://www.missouri.edu/~atradc/rebel.html

Driving

I need to start carrying a pen and notebook in my car. I think of the best stuff when I'm driving around and always forget it when I sit down in front of the computer.

I also have found that I can never write anything about Scott any more because I will never live it down. But I will continue to call your (err...Tracy's) dog a shit.

Happy Monday

Woke up to a small shitzhu (i can't spell..sorry..we'll just call it a "shit" cause i can definately spell that) licking my face over and over again. Got up and let said shit outside to frolick in the yard. While Snickers was dragging some basketball looking man (like a basketball with arms and legs) I decided eggs sounded good. So for breakfast scott and tracy got some eggs and cinnamon rolls (christmas present for scott and tracy from mom)....and boy were they good...I mean come on....I'm the greatest breakfast maker since breakfast was thought up.
On tab for the rest of the day:
1. haircut at great clips
2. help scott install a garage door opener on his second garage door
3. possibly go out with travis again
4. possibly go back to columbia for a few days (this depends on numbero three-o

Mom and dad are probably in Vegas by now....hope they have a great time!

Where were you at midnight?

Met Scott, Tracy and eventually and old friend (Travis) at Jimmy's (or something like that) in Overland Park for some drinks. We (Scott, Tracy, and I) got there around midnight and Travis didn't get out of Target until close to 1:30. Had a few drinks and was generally bored most the time. Man...where's Ronnell when you need him??
Note to self: don't go out with brother and his girlfriend again..well at least not to a place where there's dancing and lound hip-hop music playing.

Our Scars

remind us that the past is real

Chistmas 2004

Happy Christmas to you.

Woke up at the crack of 9-something and shortly after had scott and tracy's dog Snickers pouncing over me. Left scott's and headed home soon after for a the day.

gifts received: 3 bottles of Vanilla Bean (something like that) hand soap from Bath & Body works (yes I did request this...it smells good enough to eat.)
some money from mom & dad and grandma. Looks like I just might have enough to get by not having a job for a month...maybe...
Also got a 160gig hard drive from scott...now I complete my plan of taking over the world with my immense hard drive space.

I'm bored now...my extended family just left and the Heat just beat the Lakers (yeah!) so i've got nothing to do but lay around the house some more. I wish we had a gym in this place so I could work out or something....way too much laying around the past few days!

Happy holidays!

Pissed and alone

Yep...pissed and alone.
Saw "Meet the Fockers" tonight with Ronnell...GREAT movie. Just feel extra alone now. I want so bad to have the type of love that (and yes..its a movie and its not real..but still) was shown between Gaylord and the chick (no...can't remember her name). Not my time for that now.

Cycling team fucked up the clothing order. It came in today and was picked up my our handy dandy little president. Guess he dropped it off about 10am at another guys house here in town. I call the younger dude an hour and a half later and never hear back from him. Guess what...he's already out of town. (says the post I just read) What kind of shit is that....I give them my $300+ and my clothing is a few miles away but they can't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to get the clothing to someone who's still in town....clothing that my parents helped me pay for as part of my Christmas present. (my other christmas present...hand soap from bath & body works...smells so good I almost want to eat it when i use it..thanks tracy and scott for your nice soap in your nice new house :)
Ok...feel a little bit better writing that. If Ronnell didn't have to be at work early I'd go bug him to make me feel better...but he's got to work at 7am and then Aviyon will be here in the afternoon...I'm gonna wait to see Aviyon and then head home for Christmas I guess.
So I guess I'll play a couple video games and drown my sorrows in some caffeine

Later y'all

December 22

It sure doesn't seem like Christmas is 3 days away.
Where's the snow? Can't have Christmas without snow...what kind of fun is drivin home if I can't swerve around people that can't snow drive?

Today was pretty good...woke up at the crack of 11am. Had some Krispy Kreme doughnuts that cousin Sarah gave me as a christmas present. Ran some errands, worked on rebuilding a computer and watched MU play a halfway decent basketball game against the number 1 team in the country (Illinois).

Thanks boog for the Michael W. Smith and Mercy Me cd's...they're great!

Home sweet home

Drug Ronnell home with me this afternoon for a little mini-christmas dinner with my cousins. Brought my road bike with me so I could go on a ride...yeah..that lasted about 5 miles when I decided it was important to be able to feel your thighs. I'm getting used to not being able to feel my fingers and toes....but i've gotta be able to feel my thighs!

Thats about it...I wish I could browse the web now but this dial-up connection has a way of ticking me off. Too used to the connection at my place.
So I'm just gonna go upstairs and do my best to annoy Ronnell and my mother :)

Have a great one!

To do...

Thank the lord this past semester is over. I don't know what half my grades are and don't really care to check any time soon. Anticipated GPA for this past semester: 2.0

Don't have anything life altering to write right now so I'm gonna rebuild a computer and see if I can think of anything to write.

A Saturday in December

Graduated today...but didn't. Still have a couple more hours to take as an undergrad.

For some reason I'm totally out of energy now. Family just left to go home..it was wonderful having them here at my place!
Just hated one thing...after graduation and right after dinner I started to get upset for absolutly no reason. The kind of upset where you get angry at people for absolutely no reason and you just want everyone to leave. It went away after a little while but I hate not feeling like i have any control over that. Only the little Lexapro pills I have seem to have any control over it and I dislike that very much.

Its nap time now....later...

Finals...but not final

Finals are over for me for now. Feels good...would feel even better if I could say I'm a college graduate. Now's not that time though.
What am I going to do to celebrate? being done with finals? Finish my 7 hours here at the Reflector. Go home, change and drag Ronnell to the rec center. Might actually make a nice dinner...then play video games and clean up my room to make it almost halfway respectable for my parents who will be staying in it tomorrow night.

If I could think of some cool quote or something that even nearly resembles the way I'm feeling today, or have been feeling, I'd put it on here. But I can't. So goodbye for now.

teachers

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you¹re a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! What about you?


Check it out..Taylor Mali

WHAT i WANT

-- snow. Lots of it. Really soon

-- enough money in my bank account to be able to pay the bills I need to be paying right now

-- world peace (had to throw it in for good measure...actually if world peace happened unemployment would skyrocket)

-- energy, patience, and strength to get done the things I need to get done this week

-- a clean room. Well...doesn't have to be all the way clean, just clean enough so that I don't look at it and say to myself, "mom would be so disappointed"

-- a copy of every Def Jam Poetry episode ever created or almost created
-- a copy of every Reno 911 episode
-- a copy of everything Will Ferrell has ever been in

but most of all...happiness more often
Happiness is way underrated. People measure others lives by their material possessions usually...not by how happy they are. Maybe we should change that. I mean, how happy can Donald Trump be? He's got money and stuff like that...but he's got to be unhappy with the show he always has to put on for everyone (I don't believe that what comes out of him can be the way he actually is..its GOT TO be a show)

Kanye

I wonder III....the final wonder

what effect this terrible semester will have on the rest of my life



and since I just feel like it...here's a pic of my brother, sister and I

This picture makes me happy. Maybe its because it looks like I could be slugging scott in the jaw, or maybe it's at grandma's house which by definition means happy feelings, or maybe its because the picture was taken at a time when booger and I were both un-depressed.

Well...might as well put one more up.

This picture definately makes me happy also. Why? Because its me with my campers at Heartland Presbyterian Center in beautiful Parkville,MO. Spiritually, this place has done more for me than any church building probably ever will. I've got a terrible memory but I can still remember these kids names...Sam, Octavia, and (alright..I can't remember her name, but I remember her parents didn't go to church so she would walk there herself and she was able to afford camp through a scholarship from the church she attended)

Not feeling so

hot

Sick yesterday, rolled out of bed last night wondering when one of my finals was to discover it was this morning at 8am. Said "shit" and went back to bed. Definately not feeling well enough to get out the notes and study for it.

So the final sucked this morning. Definately feeling better than yesterday but I kind of feel like I'm walking around in a daze. Didn't eat a single thing yesterday....maybe thats why.
Maybe I can blame it on my bike ride Saturday. 45 miles, 40 of it wishing I had warmer gloves and socks on. Took a good 15 minutes for my feet to warm up after I got home.

Alright...back to work I go. Have a good one.

Smile...this is funny stuff damn it

Ways to annoy a professor:
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."

Show up to class about ten minutes late. Ride into the room on a bicycle, yell, "Look out!" and crash into the blackboard. Get up, take a seat, and act like nothing happened. Do this every day.

While he/she is lecturing, shout out things like, "What!?" and "Speak up! You're mumbling!" If your professor advises you to sit closer to the front, tell him/her you can't because you're scouting the room for "assassins."

Instead of taking notes, do an abstract painting during every class. Call the paintings things like, "Professor Acting Like Mr. Know-It-All" or "Idiot Who Doesn't Know What The Hell He's Talking About." Give the paintings to your professor as gifts.

I am

felicitous

Andrew's got Need for Speed Underground 2 for the PC . What does this mean? He was up a bit too late playing it last night.

Also since MU doesn't know how to properly play basketball Andrew's Wake Forest team is playing well. Won the ACC Tournament "last year" and advanced a couple rounds into the NCAA Tournament, only to be beaten when I simulated a game against Duke instead of playing it (revenge for me beating them in the ACC tournament final). Had a good recruiting class and next up is Michigan State in game 2 of season 2.
Yes...I realize you may think I have no life now. Maybe I don't....but thats just the way it is.

Andrew's got

a new brother.

Mom sent this to me earlier today.
"Yesterday, I came to school as usual…..but by 5^th hour, a mother of a former student (who entered herself into a hospital) sent me a message to call her about her son, Wesley Gregg. By 6^th hour, she was in the process of faxing over her power of attorney to me. She was hotlined the evening before for abusing Wesley. He spent yesterday in K.C. with relatives…..I went and picked him up….took him to his apartment for some stuff……went to Indep. Center after 8pm for pants to wear for concert tonight…..ate at Fazoli’s (no, he’d never been there!) and made it home before 10. I made an instant bond with Wesley last year…..yes, he is the boy that I would take home after all the concerts…..they had no vehicle at that time……only has mom and she is very unstable…….so I know a little history………am anxious for you all to meet him….you will love him as we do! mom"

Kinda exciting. Mom loves children and had talked about possibly adopting one before...so while the title of the e-mail said "you might want to sit down" this doesn't really suprise me. Just got some questions now....like how old he is and if we ever play ball how much he's cry after his defeat (well...I guess if he even plays ball....I don't really know anything about him). :)

It is

official
I'm going to fail Class, Status, and Power. How do I know this? Because I'm not going to complete the largest paper of the class. Well, I might complete it over break just for myself, but the teacher won't get to see the final masterpiece.
What bothers me the most about this failure: mom/my student loans paid for me to take this class.
Besides the money aspect I really don't care about not officially graduating in a couple weeks or getting an F. I can handle taking a couple undergrad classes next semester..hopefully I'll get to try out a cooking course. I don't think mom should have to pay any more of my college expenses (ok, well not more than absolutely neccesary) so I'll take out a buttload of loans next semester. I've never been a straight a student, so worrying about grades has never been my thing. I don't need a letter grade (i.e. answering lets say 150 multiple choice questions) to tell me I'm smart, or not. I already know I'm smart. So screw you mister letter grade.
In fact, this won't be my first F in college. I got one in Accounting I here, got a B when I retook it. I've got issues with grades actually....way to many to type them all in here right now. Maybe that can be another post sometime.
Why is this all that bothers me about this failure? Because I tried my best. I basically made myself sick plenty of times worrying about and trying to work on this paper. Just didn't happen.
So there you have it.
With the paper off my mind I can get to studying so I can do my best on my 2 finals next week....Rural Sociolgy & Drugs and Behavior. Oh yeah...and make up a 4-8 page paper in the next 2 hours for Rural Soc. over "Legacy and Social Identity".

serenity

(noun) : 1 The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace. 2 Calmness of mind; eveness of temper; undisturbed state; coolness; composure.

(andrew): 1 Campus at night. 2 When no one else is around at said time

Mom

Mom: "Were you like Scott and not order any graduation annoucemens?"
Me: "Nope"
Mom: "That's my boy!"
Me: "I did have to spend $30 on a cap and gown though" "I though I just might borrow someone else's, take scott's old one, or use my high school one"
Mom: (laughs)
Mom: "You know I didn't go to my Masters' ceremony right?"
Me: "You know I wouldn't go to my graduation right?"
Mom: "Yeah, but you should........"
Mom: "I didn't even know what my colors were until Knob Noster when we got to wear them for graduation" (Knob Noster, MO, one of school's mom has taught at. Very close to Whiteman Air Force Base...home of few Stealth Fighters :)

And them we got to eat some of dad's Dairy Queen birthday cake. Dad's officially 50...or "Over the Hill" as mom likes to say (she's a couple years behind him). There were about 20 balloons and this big hanging streamer thing that I put up real quick that all said something about "happy 50" or "over the hill"
Of course then dad said something about already being over the hill. With the averge lifespan of a male being 70-something then 30-something would be over the hill.......

I wonder II....return of the wonder

if others feel like they can do anything with their life? On the way back to my columbia home from home I was thinking how I really think I could do anything in life that I wanted. The only question was whether I could make it as a doctor or not...and I think I could. I'd have to devote everything in my life (kinda like I almost do now with technology stuff) towards it, but I think I could learn what I needed to learn to succeed as a doctor.

if my parents really know what I think of them? It almost seems wierd to me that I can say so many things to friends about how great my parents are and then at times be a butthead when I go home sometimes. For the record...I believe I've got the greatest parents ever.

if others hope their kids will be like them (I do)? I have a feeling that there's plenty of people out there that would like their children to be like them....but maybe even more who wouldn't.

how different I would be if I grew up in a large city?

why this library has to close at 8pm on Saturdays (cause that means I have to leave in 45 minutes), when I think its such a great place to study and don't want to have to go somewhere else?

how much different my life would be if I didn't like to do so many different things (and be at least decent at all of them)? Like if I didn't race bikes in high school and just played basketball how much better I would have been, or if I didn't play basketball in high school how much better of a cyclist I'd be. (I know for sure of one thing...I would have cost my parents and myself much less money!!)

how some songs can hold you? Listened to "Changes" by 2Pac today, brought back lots of memories. Used to listen to this song on the bus ride to every basketball game in high school. That brought back memories of how others guys on the team used to tease me about how big my headphones were (but they sounded really good I swear..). I guess I wasn't really in with most the other guys on the team...why?...I'm not really sure. Just haven't been a social person the majority of my life. It got bad enough (well plus a lot of abuse I would take in practice from a huge senior football player that pretended to play basketball) my junior year of h.s. I told my parents and the coach I was done. I QUIT. I vividly remember a conversation I had with mom and dad in the middle of our downstairs livingroom about if quitting was really what I wanted to do after I had talked alot about trying to go to college playing the sport and so on. I did play the next year...became the first team captain of Odessa basketball to also be awarded "Mr. Hustle". Yes...that was a long time ago. Yes...I am still very proud of that fact, and imagine I always will be.

If I can think of a catchy subtitle for the next post there might be a part III or more of "wonderings"