home

kinda sucks not feeling "at home" anywhere
Part of it has to do with issues I'm having with myself right now. The kind of issues that make you go "why'd I do that" or "why do I think this way" or "how come I used to think this but now I think this"...fun stuff like that. Stuff that no-one can answer for me, but I can't seem to find an answer for either.
It seems I've changed (I feel like I have) in the past year and I'm not exactly sure why? Or maybe I kind of know why and just don't like the reason?

It has been fun hanging out with Scott though. He's giving up his projector (a pretty big deal actually seeing as how it's his baby and couldn't replace it soon if anything happened) to a cousin for the weekend.

We're about to go buy him a paintball gun and later we'll test it out at the above-ground Jaegers paintball field. Can't wait considering its been a couple years since I've played. Though about getting my own paintball gun (much better than the one I bought some 7 years ago) a little less than a year ago but didn't do it. Maybe sometime in the next year...


AND...I haven't been to church once this year. NOT ONCE. No, I'm not writing this because I'm happy about it (though it would seem if I was that unhappy about it I would have drug my ass out of bed on a Sunday and went to church), but sometimes I like to think I'm being punished for this fact. Like something bad happens or I'm just feeling not so great and I'll think, "hey, maybe if you would have went to church any of the last 20 Sunday's this wouldn't be happening."
I suppose part of me not going to church is while the concept of church makes sense to me the actual act of sitting (and standing sometimes) and listening to someone talk to a big group of people annoys me...I'm not good at sitting still.
Thats it, I've thought about writing it for a while but never did.

Thanks Erica for the message you sent about what you recently learned...it meant a lot to me.
And while in Lawrence the other week for the Collegiate Cycling National Championships I ran into Chris from camp. I couldn't remember his last name right after, remembered it, and can't think of it...but it was great to see him. My first year as a Senior High Wilderness camper he was sort of the guy to look up to in the group. He seemed to make an extra effort to get me involved (since I'm no good at jumping into activities with people I don't know) in what everyone was doing.
And he tells me that cook George is married (or at least a one-woman man with a girlfriend) and is into riding bikes. Now if only I had an e-mail address...

Aight..enough of this warm laptop sitting on my lap (I think a Men's Health article told me that was a bad thing to do), time to use up some energy...